Eight Days In

My son, Zackary James, has been home from treatment for eight days. The first few days were difficult at best.

He had some very distinct ideas about what he was expecting and was very upset when things were cast in a different light. He spent a couple of days with my dad last week doing work on the ranch. His friend came and spent the night Friday night, went to visit another friend on Sunday and then we made a schedule of expectations and a timeline for them. I bought him a GED book and let him know that I did, indeed expect him to study it.

That pissed him off.

However, after the initial few days worth of fighting multiple times a day, we've come to a place where we understand each other and what we expect. My son has grown leaps and bounds and continues to amaze me with his level of maturity (it's 10-fold what it was when I dropped him off at the center on November 27).

I am so proud that he came from my body.

Tag

I've been tagged again (Thanks, Morag!) and this time the subject is in the form of a Memo to My 15-Year-Old Self.

Let's begin.

First, let's talk about the addictions brewing.

Junk food is not good for you. It's rotting your teeth and making you gain weight. You get one set of permanent teeth and if you keep eating so much sugar, especially with your teeth-brushing habits, you're going to lose some teeth. And it's so much easier to start out maintaining your figure instead of trying to go back and lose a whole bunch of weight. It's a strong addiction, but if you just stop for a few days it'll be easier to manage...I promise.

Why did you start smoking? Remember when you begged your dad to stop smoking just a few years ago. He did it. Why did you start? You're going to have your ups and downs with it but just remember that you always have a choice.

You don't know it yet, but you're going to be a mom in about a year. Be good to that boy-child. His dad's not going to be around--get used to it now. Even when he's older, his dad's going to be MIA. And when that baby is taken away from you and subsequently adopted by your aunt and uncle, try to do a good job of visiting him. Just because he's not legally your son anymore doesn't mean he doesn't know you. It's in his DNA and he's going to need you.

Stop sneaking out of the damn house to hang out with a bunch of stupid guys that don't really give a shit about you! In 15 years, when you see them on the street, they're not even going to remember you! And stop being such a bitch to your mom. She's tired, she works all the time and she deserves to go out when she feels like it. She's had a difficult life. Let her have some peace!

Lastly, you effing rock. You have cool hair, cool t-shirts (that your mom bought for you!) and a whole mess of awesome heavy metal cassettes. You are the epitome of the late eighties. And you're gorgeous--too bad for the stupid boys who don't notice.

Be good to yourself, girl. It all goes so fast.


I tag Addie, Iris, and Saralee.

Right Around the Corner

Today feels like Spring!

I went for a walk on my lunch break today and marveled at all the people cruising around bipedally, wiping from their eyes the long winter's sleep.

All Things Birthy

Friday, February 8th was my best friend's birthday. It was a significant day for three reasons...the first being the most obvious...it was a day to celebrate the birth of one of the best people I've ever known. Happy birthday, Emily Marie--I love you! The second reason was that Emily gave me a wonderful gift--a book called Babies In Her Saddlebags, which I read in just a couple of days, and recommend to anyone who loves a good midwife story (this one happens to be true).

Keep reading to hear the third reason.

We went out that Friday night, beginning with dinner at our favorite Mexican restaurant. It was just Emily, Patricia and me. Brilliant. Then we began the pub crawl that Emily decided was what she wanted to do in celebration. I had a beer with dinner, a beer at the first bar, and a shot of tequila at the second bar, which also happened to be the bar I used to work at. (I had those three drinks over a four hour period...I swear I'm not that irresponsible!!) Then I stopped drinking because I had a feeling...

...that my client, who was already eight days postdates, was going to have a baby. I left the growing crowd of celebrators at the third bar, a good two hours after my shot of tequila, I headed straight home to go to bed in anticipation. I was home for no more than 20 minutes when I received a call from my client that she had been having contractions for a couple of hours.

I arrived at her house around 12:45 a.m. to find my client working hard and the student midwife already there. A cervical check revealed about 50% effacement, 2cm dilation and a bulging bag. Her contractions were coming about 3-5 minutes apart and they were hitting her pretty hard.

A couple of hours later she was 90% effaced and 4cm dilated. At this point she had settled into a coping rhythm and she was singing a low song through her contractions with a little tremolo. It was a very beautiful song that will remain with me for the rest of my life.

By 6:45 am, she was 90% effaced, 8cm dilated and heading straight into transition. This was signified by a marked change in her song. It went from low and rhythmic to higher and more sing-song. Still beautiful, but I knew what the change in her song meant. She would be holding her baby very soon! When her cervix was completely dilated, she got a well-deserved break for a few minutes before the pushing contractions started.

There is truly nothing in the world like the sounds a woman makes when she is giving birth. It's virtually impossible to accurately recreate the primal music that accompanies childbirth.

At 7:49 am on Saturday, February 9, 2008, the world was blessed with a brand new little girl. She weighed 8 pounds, 8 ounces, was 19 and a quarter inches long and was very pink.

Welcome to our world, Magdalena. Thanks to you, your momma, your big brother, and your bubbe for giving me the honor of being present when you took your first breath.

Childhood Re-revisited

Our good friend John came over last Sunday with a gift for the kids. I was astonished when he showed me a four-wheeler (we used to call them quads) in the back of his car. Today we gave it it's test run for the first time. Here's a little video of the boy riding down the road.

Obviously this is an off-road vehicle, but we couldn't resist just trying it out on the road. The neighbors seemed stoked that we were having fun.

So, now I'm feeling like those redneck roots of mine are coming to bite me in the ass. We live for football season and we own a quad. Shit, I feel like a kid all over again.

This and That

We plugged in our old computer a couple of days ago. There was so much information in there that we haven't seen in a loooooooooonnngg time...we had fun going through and looking at some old pictures. Here are some to see. Remember that you can click on a photo to see it enlarged.







Seven Sisters (The Hoh Rainforest)

Sun In The Maple

Sunset on Second Beach (La Push, WA)

Forest Trillium

Wagon Stop

Fun Guy (Hoh Rainforest)

Oldest and Youngest: A Vet and His Grandson (My dad and youngest child, 2000)

Old Chevy

Another Sunset on Second Beach (La Push, WA)

There's also a whole mess of information that I was so excited to see again, including a book I'd been working on for a few years and my entire research project from 2002-2003 and the 19 page paper I wrote on childbirth for an independent learning contract. It's cool to look back five years and see how passionate I was about birth--and know that I still feel that passion. I have a doula client due at the end of this month. I'm so excited.

Remember a posting about Laurie Michaels, a woman here who had an aneurysm about half way through her third trimester of pregnancy... Her baby was born on December 12 (I think she was due toward the end of January)and she saw and held her baby for the first time on January 8. Here, again, is the link to her husband's blog. I cried when I read about her meeting little Ella for the first time. Here is a link to the picture of the reunion.

So, still busy, still loving my job, still loving my family more and more each day. May you always know that you're loved by someone. It's the most beautiful feeling in the world.

Raven Weirdness

Anyone traveling along the south end of Lake Washington on Highway 522 this past Saturday got a weird treat. About 10,000 crows/ravens were swarming and hanging out. It seriously looked like a scene from the Hitchcock classic "The Birds." For about a block and a half all we could see were black birds. We were sitting at a red light when I realized we had our camera and I took this small bit of footage. Hopefully you can see it--it really doesn't show the true scale of what we saw. Everywhere we looked, all the rooftops and any open ground was covered in crows and the sky was alive with black birds. I'm not sure they were all crows or ravens or a mix of both, but it was maniacal!