Opposite Ends

Dealing with opposite ends of a huge spectrum...

It seems that I am constantly forced to deal with decisions that have the potential to be like-altering. No, I'm not talking about choosing which route I will take across town; nor what to have for dinner; or even how to go about discussing puberty with my 10 year-old daughter, who happens to be experiencing Tanner stage one (for those of you who know what that is--does anyone read this anyway?)

Over the past two weeks my life has been wracked with grief and despair combined with little bits of hugely good news. I'll start with the good news so that I can think about something uplifting...

First. Hubby and I have been talking about buying a newer mini-van to replace what my son affectionately calls "The Chipper," because the paint (and primer) is chipping off to reveal large spots of rust. So yesterday we were looking on the Internet for used vehicles under $5000 and found a 1991 Toyota Previa down in Redmond that's listed at $2995, which is under blue book value, and Yotas run forever if you maintain them. We got very excited and Hubby called our bank to see if we would qualify for a loan to purchase this van. It was very exciting when he was approved over the phone because we don't have a great credit history and we subsist on one income. When he went to turn in the necessary paperwork and sign on the dotted line, the loan officer commented on how much we've cleaned up our credit over the last couple of years and we should seriously consider buying a house (oh, stars and balloons and smiley faces and hearts and candy fell out of the sky with the utterance of these words). We've been waiting to hear these words for a really long time. So we are going to meet with a mortgage broker next week to see if she can find us a loan that will fit our budget. hip hip HOORAY!!!

Second. I looked over tha booklist for Spring quarter today and discovered that my books are going to be under $100. Fabu-fucking-licious.

Okay, now for the depressing shit...

Although I am very excited about the minimal expense of next quarter's books, I don't actually know if I will be in school then. I am behind in most of my classes and I am dealing with the next bit of suckiness.

My sixteen-year-old son, who has been the focus of a couple of my other posts, is failing in school; skipping school; getting arrested; and running away from home. He doesn't care that he is effecting several lives with the choices that he makes and his only dream is to come and live with me, which can't happen. I have spent the last two days dealing with his shit--wondering where he is, if he's OK, crying, and just being all around depressed. Which is another reason that I don't know if school is the right thing for me right now. I am going to make a phone call to talk to the director of SMS to ask her for some advice.

There you have it. My life is an oxymoron at the moment. And there's not a fucking thing I or anyone else can do about it. Well, I guess my kid could step up and be a man (since he thinks he is one). But that's not going to happen...

Peace out homechickens.